Your Way Out
by MissMandS
Summary: It's an hour later that the other Johnsons end up at Ty's, staring and gaping at Olaf who stands with his shirt open and a naked baby pressed up against his chest. The baby looks more blue than pink, its mouth open in a wail despite Olaf's attempts at comfort. His words of: 'shh, shh, really now Ty, no for crying. If you stop grandpa will get you some pot.' Eventual Ty/Anders.
1. Chapter 1

The first thing to happen is an inability to keep any food down. Ty cleans out his fridge with a small twist in his gut at the process, upset at losing so much food that seemed so good just a few hours ago.

The second is a throbbing headache. With each heartbeat he feels it in his head and he hisses through clenched teeth, digs his hands into the counter a little bit tighter. He chases a couple aspirin down with some water and lies down on the couch, willing it to go away.

It's halfway through a shitty talk show that Ty notices how unbearably cold it is in the room it is, how unbearably cold he is. He tugs blankets from the back of the couch onto himself and with chattering teeth and shaking hands he reaches for his phone.

"Please be a useful oracle just this once." Ty begs before Olaf can even get a hello out.

"I never seem to get it right anyways but what did Anders do now?"

"Anders hasn't done anything. It's me. I can't keep any food down, my head is throbbing and I'm cold. Really, really fucking cold. It would be great if you could just be a useful oracle for once and tell me what the problem is." Ty trails off as his words become slurred, his hand falling away from his ear.

The headache is becoming worse and worse by the second, threatening to split his head apart. He can't think through the pain, through the fuzz that's clouding his mind. He tries to groan, to scream, to do something about this pain but can manage only a gurgled groan of pain. The pain is spreading through his head, down his neck, his spine and there's nothing he can do but lay there, ignoring Olaf's shouting.

It's an hour later that the other Johnsons end up at Ty's, staring and gaping at Olaf who stands with his shirt open and a naked baby pressed up against his chest. The baby looks more blue than pink, its mouth open in a wail despite Olaf's attempts at comfort. His words of: 'shh, shh, really now Ty, no for crying. If you stop grandpa will get you some pot.'

"Grandpa, I don't think babies smoke pot." Axl says weakly, making everyone turn to glare at him as the baby continues to wail.

* * *

I thought I had seen this prompt on the kink meme but I must have imagined it in my sleep addled mind. I then came up with this idea and I needed it like oxygen. This story is going to be 33 chapters and WILL CONTAIN INCEST! You have been warned.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a moment of glaring at Axl and him shuffling his feet, looking sheepish at his poor attempt at relieving the tension. Then the baby lets out a particularly loud wail. Olaf lets out a groan, lifting the baby higher, against his shoulder. He rocks back and forth, shaking his head.

"Buggery bollocks, why won't he warm up? Babies aren't supposed to be blue." Anders takes a hesitant step forward, grabbing hold of one the baby's feet. And true to Olaf's word it does have a rather bluish tint to its skin and radiates cold.

"Olaf where the hell did you get a baby?" Axl demands. The oracle sighs and lowers the baby from his body, frowning as he wanders towards the sink.

"You know I don't think that's important right now. Mike get me some towels, Axl check this water and Anders…Call Dawn and tell her that we need some diapers, baby clothes, formula. Don't give me that look. Unless you plan on developing some tits we're going to need formula." Olaf's tone leaves no room for argument. Mike goes off in search of towels, Anders wandering off to call Dawn while Axl settles beside Olaf who sticks a plug into the sink.

"How hot should it be?" Axl asks quietly.

"Not hot, warm. And if it feels hot to you then it's going to be way too hot for him. Not a whole lot either. We only want to get him warm." Axl sticks his arm under the running water, staring at the baby which rests in Olaf's arms. It's still crying though it sounds weaker, its cries almost resigned now as Olaf slowly lowers him into the water.

"I know, I know. Nobody likes this part. Hey, at least you're already cut. How's that, huh? Already cut, don't have to have a nurse looking at your thing, yeah?" Axl cringes at the baby talk but remains silent, watching as Olaf drops handfuls of water over the baby. Mike joins them at the sink, cradling armfuls of towels.

"All right so who's baby?" Mike asks, his tone wearing thin with patience.

"Whatever you do, do not shout. He just stopped his crying. But it's Ty." Olaf makes a shushing sound as Axl and Mike open their mouths, shooting them sharp glares. The three men lapse into silence as Olaf continues bathing Ty who quiets down except for the occasional whimper and gurgle.

Anders sits in the living room, his legs crossed and his arms behind his head as he stares down at his phone. Dawn had not reacted well to the phone call, even with the use of Bragi. She had demanded to know exactly what he had gotten himself into, which woman he'd fucked over and who had dumped their child off on him. She'd hung up with an angry huff and what felt like a promise to get back at him. There hadn't been much sound from the kitchen since Mike had gone in there with the towels, the only sound Olaf's mutters, an occasional shushing and now the crying was staring again.

Olaf steps into the room, carrying a crying, towel swaddled baby. Behind him walks Mike who wears a sour expression and a stained shirt and a smirking, chuckling Axl who keeps pointing at him as he joins Olaf on the couch.

"Ty peed on him." Axl manages through his laughter.

"Is Dawn here yet with the diapers?" Mike grouses. Anders doesn't answer, staring at the towel swaddled baby in Olaf's arms. His throat is threatening to close up on him, his chest constricting as he stares up on the baby. Was he next? Was this a part of becoming a god that he didn't know about, turning into a baby and peeing on his brothers? The thought has him feeling a little bit sick as he stands up and wanders towards the front door. He pulls it open numbly, barely nodding at Dawn. She's loaded down with bags and packages, glaring at Anders.

"I hope you're happy Anders. I was with a client and had to leave them because you needed some diapers for what reason? You had a baby dropped off on you from some ex conquest?" Olaf elbows him aside, mumbling something beneath his breath as he gives Dawn a smile.

"Thank you so much for going to all this trouble. One of our family members had their husband run out on them. It was a little too much for her after the whole stress of having a baby and relationship problems…She left the baby with us." Dawn stops her rant, her face falling as she looks at the baby. She drops the bags, holding her arms and gesturing for Olaf to hand the baby over.

"When was their last feeding, diaper change?" Dawn doesn't wait for an answer, as Olaf picks up an armful of bags and motions for her to head towards Ty's bedroom.

"He could use a new diaper and probably a bottle if Mike would like to get on that." Mike glares sourly at his back, grumbling about his urine soaked shirt as he begins searching through the bags that still cover the floor. Anders moves back to the couch, flopping down next to Axl. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a long groan.

"I don't remember Ty being this damn fussy when he was a baby…" Anders finally mutters. Mike looks up from where he digs through the bags, shaking his head.

"I'm still hoping that Olaf is just really high and has no idea about what he's talking about."

"He seems like he really knows what he's talking about." Axl says quietly. The brothers' lapse into silence as Mike continues digging through the bags until finally he pulls out a bottle and with it slams down a canister of formula which he begins to measure out as Olaf wanders out of the bedroom.

"Okay, Dawn has Ty diapered and is going to get him down for a nap with his bottle. She's agreed to help us all out as much as she can…" Olaf trails off at the three glares tossed at him. "I should probably explain this now that we don't have a screeching baby huh?"

"Yeah, that would be great grandpa." All the boys grumble.

Olaf recounts Ty's call to them and how he arrived at the apartment to a naked baby lying in a pile of Ty's clothes, more blue than pink, and cold and screaming at the top of its lungs. There are grimaces from around the room as the boys look at each other and then at Olaf.

"Was he hypothermic?" Mike asks.

"He was approaching it when I got here." Olaf's expression is a pinched one.

"Is this something that gods do? I mean is this something that's going to happen to us?" Axl asks. There's a moment of baited breath until Olaf shakes his head.

"I don't think so. Ty obviously has something wrong with him. It could have something to do with the return of Odin. I don't think that Hod has left his body because he still feels cold."

"Could it be a second chance of sorts you think? Like he'll age again and if he wants he can give up being the vessel for Hod?" Axl asks and Olaf sighs, shaking his head.

"I don't know; I'll have to look into it. All I've gotten so far is that he'll age one year with each passing night. Right now he's a newborn and about this time tomorrow he'll be a one year old. That is where you come in Anders; convincing Dawn that this is the same child and she hasn't seen anything any different."

"So what do we do until he's back to his normal age?" Anders asks and is met with a glare from Mike.

"We all have to chip in of course, help with diapers, formula, babysitting." Anders smile is a thin lipped, bitter one.

"Oh goody, it will be just like old times Mikkel." Olaf slaps his hands against his thighs, standing up before a fight can begin.

"I'm going to see if I can figure any more of this out. Anders you stay here and help Dawn, you're taking the first night."

"How hard can it be to take care of a newborn baby?"

* * *

It turns out that it is very difficult. Dawn runs to both her place and Anders halfway through the day during Ty's nap to pick up some of their things. She promises Anders that Ty should sleep until she gets back and if he wakes up just make him a bottle, change him, and play with him. Anders lucks out. Ty sleeps not only though Dawn's departure but her return. It's the nighttime part that isn't so easy.

Dawn stares at Anders from the doorway of Ty's bedroom. She's holding him in her arms, dressed in some pajamas with her hair pulled back into a sloppy bun and her face free of any makeup. From his spot on the couch Anders can see stacks of diapers with a box of wipes and a tube next to it. With it there are several outfits layered on top of one another.

"What's with all the stuff?" Anders asks, tugging the blankets up to his chest.

"It makes for easier access. I'm going to sleep with him in the bed tonight and see how it works but we can get a playpen or a crib later, depending on what you think will work better. We'll see how he does." She lets out a loud, long yawn and moves back towards the bed. "Night Anders."

"Thanks for all your help Dawn, I owe you." He almost doesn't catch her mutter of 'damn straight you do' as she closes the door.

He wakes up first at ten thirty to Ty's cries which leak through the closed bedroom door. He can hear Dawn shushing and mumbling apologies, the sound of diaper tabs being pulled. It lasts for only a few minutes. There's a little bit more of Dawn shushing and then Ty is quiet. The second time he is forced to get up by Dawn who shoves him off the couch and points towards the kitchen.

"Bottle." She manages through a yawn. Anders stands on unsteady legs, blinking at the darkness because surely it hasn't been that long since he was asleep. Ty can't be this hungry again having just eaten about two hours ago?

"He just ate though?" Anders mumbles, squinting at the formula canister. "How much do I even feed him?"

"Here, you hold him and I'll make the bottle. Newborns need to eat about every two to three hours." Dawn's tone is sleepier than irritated as she hands Ty over to him. Ty's skin is slightly colder than an average baby's but his face is still flushed red as he cries, his small fists balled up. Anders looks down at him unsurely as Dawn measures out formula in the bottle and puts water in the bottle. He gives him a tentative jiggle, looking pleadingly at Dawn who continues to focus on her task.

"What am I doing wrong?" And he's embarrassed that his voice comes out watery and croaky as tears prick at his eyes. Frustration wells up in his chest as Ty continues to cry, his attempts at comfort doing nothing to help. Dawn comes around to join him on the couch, her expression soft as she hands over the bottle.

"Here just put the bottle in his mouth, turn it a little…There you go. You're not doing anything wrong. Babies cry. A lot. They cry when they're hungry, sick, tired, in pain, wet, when they've pooped. It's simply their way of communicating. My mom told me that I used to cry a lot from gas pains and the only way I would stop was for her to bicycle my legs. And that she would sometimes have to do it for an hour before I stopped."

"Feeling frustrated or feeling scared is normal with newborns. They seem so small that it feels like you're going to break them or they'll break themselves. But you're learning and so are they. The whole crying thing is only temporary, it doesn't last forever." Dawn says quietly. Anders sniffs, looking down at Ty who sucks happily at the nipple of the bottle, his cries forgotten.

"How do I know if he's done?" Anders gives the bottle a small tug only to find it being held firmly in place by suction from Ty's mouth. Dawn gives a small chuckle, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"When he stops doing that." The two fall into silence, Dawn leaning against Anders shoulder and watching as Ty suckles happily. It's as Anders pulls the bottle away from his lips that Dawn stretches, sighing. "So your family member that left, were she and Ty close, I mean she did name her baby after him."

"Yeah, they were really close. I think she hoped that Ty would take the baby but he went after her. He wanted her to enjoy her baby and motherhood, not to just abandon it all." Dawn hums but says nothing as she takes Ty into her arms, propping his chin up in her hand as she begins to pat him on the back. It's midway through one of her pats that Ty begins to grunt, his small face contorting and Dawn laughs, giving Anders a small smile.

"What does that sound mean?"

"It means that he's pooping." Anders does little to hide his disgust and it shows from the way that Dawn rolls her eyes as she moves to grab a diaper.

"Should I expect any surprises?" Anders asks worriedly as Dawn begins to unsnap his pajamas.

"Well formula fed babies usually have smelly poop." Her warning is all for nothing though as Anders still lets out a screech and runs from the room when Ty's diaper comes off.

* * *

First of all let me say that I am so fucking sorry it took me this damn long to update. I had a lot and I mean a lot of stuff happen with school. Mainly a class which I desparately needed but hated and made me very depressed and just hate going to school. That and I was overloaded with work. I wasn't sure if I was going to have my scholarship extended into the summer semester or not which was...Yeah, that was a huge stresser. Like lay awake in my bed at night and wonder how the fuck am I going to do this college thing, stress.

My grandma passed away very unexpectedly with no warning, a week before finals which as you can all imagine was a lovely fun thing to deal with. And my health problems kind of took a little nose dive with that.

But I am here (kind of) I'm still not one hundred percent. I didn't sleep well last night but I'm getting back to myself and trying to deal with all the shit that is hpapening in my life.


End file.
